William-Kate wedding a royal bore to San Francisco locals 

San Francisco’s Britons — and American anglophiles alike — will no doubt tune in to the blanket television coverage of Friday’s royal wedding, which begins in the wee hours of the morning here in the land across the pond. Yes, there will be theme parties where costumed hostesses serve gin-based cocktails, and maybe even some bland boiled food.

But attitudes toward the much-anticipated nuptials of Prince William and his bride-to-be Kate Middleton among the assembled multitudes at Dolores Park on Saturday ranged from indifference to good ol’ fashioned American irreverence for anything reeking of monarchy.

The so-called hipsters on the hill were pretty sure we won that war way back in the 1700s, and they said this is no time to start pandering to vanquished colonialists.

“I think Snookie is far more entertaining than these clowns,” said 29-year-old Michael Duffy.

“I heard it’s a shotgun wedding!” Duffy’s intemperate friend Tyler Sharkey, 27, chimed in. “That girl is pregnant!”

Other opinions were more measured.

“I care about British politics, but I can’t say I give a damn about this wedding,” said Matt Janes, 26. “They’re just something to be stared at.”

Still, others were somewhat enthusiastic, at least about the party aspect.

“As an American, it’s a perfect excuse to drink,” said 24-year-old Dawn Oberlin, who had already had a few. “I’m going to call in sick.”

Actually, there’s no need for anyone who doesn’t work odd hours to call in sick, since television coverage in the Pacific Time Zone is expected to kick off at about 2:30 a.m.


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Dan Schreiber

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