Scoop: Tiger’s texts: Real love with Rachel? 

Gee, maybe Tiger Woods is really just a hopeless romantic after all. Text messages purportedly sent to his mistress Rachel Uchitel seem to prove he actually had strong feelings for the NYC party planner — even claiming to have a stronger connection with her than he had with his wife.

“I know it’s brutal on you that you can’t be with me all the time. I get it. It [expletive] kills me, too,” the golf great laments, according to In Touch magazine, which claims to have obtained Tiger’s texts exclusively. “I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home.” (No doubt wife Elin Nordegren would not be too pleased to read that.)

“Why didn’t we find each other years ago. We wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Tiger adds.

So, did he say this mushy stuff to all 10 of his alleged mistresses? Nope — in texts to Jaimee Grubbs, he reportedly promises to “wear you out soon” and entreats her to “send me something very naughty” — i.e., a nude pic.  Yeah, so scratch that “hopeless romantic” stuff.

Angelina’s Secret?

“Angelina Jolie has a secret family that she’s kept hidden for six years!” breathlessly exclaims the National Enquirer. Oh, really? How ya figure?

Despite the salacious-sounding headline, it turns out that even if the story is true, the humanitarian actress has simply done another good deed: Since 2003, she has reportedly paid for seven orphans in Jordan to live with a foster mother at an orphanage called the SOS Children’s Village, with food, clothing, and other expenses provided for. And just to illustrate what a non-secret non-scandal this is, the tabloid also notes that she recently brought partner Brad Pitt to meet the youths.

“Angelina considers the orphans as her own family. She stays in touch with them and really cares about how they are doing,” says a source. “That’s why she was so excited about taking Brad to see them.”

“On her visit, Angelina just wanted to play with the kids and have fun,” an orphanage staffer recalls. “She spent time with the family and spoke with the mother, Fatima. Some of the teenagers had come back from university to see her and she was giving them advice about life and school. It was Brad’s first visit to the SOS Village and he was amazed by everything.”

You know, if the tabloids keep crying wolf like this, we’re not going to believe them when it turns out that Angie really does have a secret stash of illegally adopted black-market babies. “If”! We meant “if,” not “when.”

Jon’s Cruel ‘Joke’

Hailey Glassman may still share an apartment with Jon Gosselin, but she’s certainly not his girlfriend anymore. In fact, the octo-dad’s former gal pal tells Radar Online she now considers their romance “a joke that was on me.”

“We are not together,” Hailey proclaims. “But it’s complicated. We’re still living together, but he’s away traveling.”

Compounding her bitterness: During a Monday deposition in TLC’s suit against her former paramour, Hailey learned that her man had indeed cheated on her with a then-tabloid reporter.

“I was told under oath that Jon really did sleep with Kate Major,” she reveals. “I’m mind-boggled and hurt by it. And he still lies to me about it and denies it to this day.”

“I just want this all to be over,” she declares of the man who formerly described her as his “soul mate.” “I want him out of my life ... I feel like I’ve been in crazy land, in a tank of piranhas. I think Jon needs to relearn to love himself before he can even have friendships. He needs to relearn how to be a good person, and I hope he gets help.”

We, too, hope Jon gets some guidance. Preferably somewhere on a mountaintop in Tibet. With no cameras.

Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at kitty@media-darling.com.

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