San Francisco mayor’s race write-in candidate wants to ‘ban straight marriage’ 

City Hall is a complicated place, and engaging with the electoral politics that spring forth from its arcane culture can be frustrating. So sometimes, it’s easier to just make fun of it.

Meet Mat Honan, a freelance writer and recently declared mayoral candidate running an Internet-based write-in campaign with slogans ranging from, “Pull Up Your Damn Pants” to “Ban Straight Marriage” and “No Mean Dogs For Gutter Punks.”

Honan’s website proclaims that people want him to run for mayor “because I can f----ing fix it” and then reveals the details of his “damn platform.”

Following Thursday afternoon’s earthquake, voters took to Twitter to blast him for reneging on a campaign promise to warn residents before all earthquakes, a criticism which was bolstered by an aftershock five hours later.

Another satirical candidate named Spencer Blackhart was loudly pontificating atop a milk crate on Market Street outside a mayoral forum earlier this month. On his website, Blackhart describes himself as a superior candidate with “Ponzi scheme experience” who can “guarantee in short order that our city’s mounting debt will belong to Oakland.”

The Blackhart character also wants San Francisco’s schools to actually produce revenue because he “loves quilts” and wants to make sure The City gets “top dollar for every fur in the San Francisco Zoo.”

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Dan Schreiber

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