Pitt-Jolie wedding pics a hit, but C-list nuptials are a miss 

Forget “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”: the next reality show foisted upon viewers could be “A-List Bride, Irrelevant Bride.”

People magazine and its U.K. counterpart, Hello!, released exclusive photos Tuesday of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s wedding, bewitching the public with glossy images of the wedding dress (OMG she let their six kids draw on the veil!) and the ceremony (Is Shiloh wearing shorts and a top hat?!)

The price the magazines paid for the photo set wasn’t revealed, but Bustle speculated the couple — who earned $11 million for charity when the sold the first photos of their twins in 2008 — could have cha-chinged another $20 million for charity.

Meanwhile, Ashlee Simpson, 29, couldn’t even give the pictures of her weekend nuptials away, even though the groom was Evan Ross, 26, son of diva Diana Ross. The singer-actress-celebrity sister reportedly considered giving up and posting the images to social media like the proletariat after failing to secure a deal with People.

“Just a few months ago, Jessica sold her most recent wedding pictures to People for $300,000,” a source told the New York Daily News. “Now it seems no one cares about Ashlee anymore.”

Don’t blame Apple for those leaked nude photos (or thank it for the free nudie pics, you creep). The Cupertino company says hackers didn’t exploit iCloud to steal pics of Jennifer Lawrence, Kirsten Dunst, Kate Upton and more.

“Certain celebrity accounts were compromised by a very targeted attack on user names, passwords and security questions,” Apple said, denying theories that data-storage service iCloud or the Find my iPhone app had been hacked.

Meanwhile, The Associated Press said, the images were taken off websites and links were disabled on social-networking site Reddit, where many of the photos turned up after they were first posted to 4chan on Sunday.

Still, “It’s kind of like playing whack-a-mole,” a media lawyer told The AP.

QUICK TAKES

Jimi Jamison, lead singer of Survivor, suffered a fatal heart attack Sunday, one day after the band performed in Morgan Hill. ... Justin Bieber was arrested Friday after allegedly punching a photographer after his ATV hit the paparazzo’s minivan. ... Cee Lo Green deleted his Twitter account Tuesday, possibly after realizing the folly of tweeting “Women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!” two days after pleading no contest to charges of giving Ecstasy to a woman who said she blacked out and woke up next to him.

About The Author

Giselle Velazquez

Bio:
Giselle Velazquez was born and raised in the shadow of San Francisco's Diamond Heights and now lives in the shadow of South San Francisco's Sign Hill. She has written for publications such as The S.F. Examiner, Ventura County Star, and the S.F. Bay Guardian.
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