Madonna, Angelina Jolie react to Malala Yousafzai shooting in their own ways 

click to enlarge Madonna reacted to the murder of Malala Yousafzai with a seductive strip-tease while Angelina Jolie wrote an essay promoting peace and love. - GETTY IMAGES FILE PHOTO
  • Getty Images File Photo
  • Madonna reacted to the murder of Malala Yousafzai with a seductive strip-tease while Angelina Jolie wrote an essay promoting peace and love.

Ah, celebs. Can’t live with them, can’t build a fort in their trees and use a high-powered lens to incessantly stalk them.

Let’s compare and contrast Angelina Jolie and Madonna, shall we? Both women reacted in their own inimitable ways to the terrible news that the Taliban had shot Malala Yousafzai, a teenage activist in Pakistan.

Jolie wrote an essay about the teen on the Daily Beast, extolling education for girls, as well as peace, love, understanding and all those other “funny” things.

And then there’s the Material Girl. She decided to pay tribute by working a strip-tease portion into her show, revealing “Malala” written across her back after peeling away most of her clothing. It’s like your mullah always said: It’s the thought that counts.

OUT COME THE WOLFGANGS

Wolfgang Van Halen, son of Eddie Van Halen and bassist for the group of the same last name, says he was accosted by the U.K. boy band One Direction.

Without giving specifics, he tweeted that they were “dickheads” and were probably so-named because “all of their hair points in One Direction.” Snap!

Fans of the group, dubbed “Directioners” (very creative!), took to twitter in response, defending their faves and decrying whatever a “Wolfgang Van Halen” was.

“Sorry but I never heard something named Wolfgang Van Halen before they claimed they got insulted by 1D. Wanted to be popular, much?”

 

‘NIGHTMARES’ NIGHTMARE

When Gordon Ramsay shows up on “Kitchen Nightmares” to save flailing restaurants, the joints are generally roach-infested, debt-ridden cesspools run by incompetent egotists.

Usually the owners have their lives hanging in the balance, after funneling all of their retirement money, college funds and massive loans into a sinking ship. Ramsay gives them a verbal bitch-slap and they either take the advice or perish.

In 2007, the chef told an embattled New Jersey restaurant owner that his business was going to “swim down the Hudson” if he didn’t fix it. Well, sadly, the owner, Joseph Cerniglia, was himself found floating down the Hudson in late September in what is now being reported as a suicide.

Another Ramsay contestant also killed herself after appearing on “Hell’s Kitchen.” Is Ramsay too mean? You know what they say: If you can’t handle the heat. …

Got scoops or Bay Area celebrity sightings? Email scoop@sfexaminer.com

QUICK TAKES 

  • Tyra Banks told TV host Steve Harvey that she’s “really ready to have some babies.”
  • Flavor Flav was arrested on suspicion of felony assault with a deadly weapon and battery in Las Vegas on Wednesday.
  • Rihanna will reportedly net $8 million for switching on the Christmas lights at a London mall this year.
  • “Bachelorette” Emily Maynard and Jef Holm are officially splitsville.
  • Jay Leno is being sued by a viewer from Bakersfield for a joke he made about a sacred Sikh temple.

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Katy St. Clair

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