Once it dawns on her that no one takes her seriously and that her bank account could be at stake, she will explain to Barbara Walters how she was young and impetuous and so on and so forth.
This appearance will be in tandem to the movie she has coming out in which she plays someone fugly or otherwise glamour-compromised (terminally ill? Alcoholic? Moldavian?), showing not only her “range” but also what she looks like when she’s not twerking.
Finally, she will release a sappy Christmas album with lots of references to faith and family. Madame Scoop has spoken.
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