Did Lindsay assault Betty Ford staffer? 

Oh, Lindsay ... here we go again. Just when we thought the actress was doing well in rehab at the Betty Ford Center, she was named as a suspect in an assault case. Police are investigating an allegation by a staffer at the treatment center that LiLo pushed her. If the incident is deemed a probation violation, she could be headed back to jail.

“The victim desired prosecution,” said Sgt. Joe Borja of the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department. “The incident is being investigated as a misdemeanor.”

According to TMZ, the scuffle occurred when Lindsay returned to the facility after her curfew, having been out at a bar (though there is no word on whether she was drinking). The actress said she was only 10 minutes late and was “unfairly” scolded by the staffer, who wanted her to take drug and alcohol tests.

The staffer “put her hands on Lindsay,” the website’s sources said, whereupon the actress told her to “take your hands off of me” and “pushed back.” LiLo is said to believe that the staffer was out for her and trying to provoke a confrontation.

Still, should she not have made an effort to meet her curfew? Or not gone to a bar in the first place? Oh, Lindsay.

Heidi: Scarred

Heidi Montag made the decision to have a radical plastic-surgery overhaul — but now she is playing the victim. The former “The Hills” star complained to Life&Style magazine about the damage all those voluntary cosmetic procedures wrought on her body.

Her inventory of botched parts includes a blemish from her chin reduction, bald spots from a brow lift, uneven breasts with scarred nipples and a scar behind her ear.

“The big dark mark from my chin reduction is probably the most noticeable. But the absolute worst is on my breasts, and the scariest is below my butt cheek,” Heidi said. (We are not sure we want to know what is going on with her butt cheek.)

The Barbie-ized blonde said she regrets her transformation: “I would love to not be ‘plastic girl’ or whatever they call me. Surgery ruined my career and my personal life, and just brought a lot of negativity into my world. I wish I could jump into a time machine and take it all back. Instead, I am always going to feel like Edward Scissorhands.”

Heidi added, “People have fewer scars from car accidents than I have on my body.”

Pretty tasteless considering her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, died in a car crash a few months ago. Heidi, you are the one who chose to do this to yourself. Did you really think that having 10 cosmetic procedures in a day would leave no scars?

Ryan ‘Beyond Sad’

Although they recently reconnected for a friendly dinner, Ryan Reynolds is still smarting from his split with estranged wife Scarlett Johansson, Us magazine reported. While filming “Green Lantern,” an insider associated with the production said, he was “open on set that he and Scarlett were having problems.”

The actor, married for less than two years, “would say that she treated him badly,” the source said. “It never seemed like she made him a priority.” While the “Sexiest Man Alive” is now “beyond sad and depressed,” the actress “was disconnected and disaffected” about the breakup, per the source, who added, “It was harsh.”

We are sure there are plenty of women out there who would love to console poor heartbroken Ryan.

Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at kitty@media-darling.com.

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